He Pushed Us All to Do Better

Ken did not have many (any?) close friends. Some people enjoyed or admired Ken; others did not. When Ken died it was interesting to see how varied people’s responses were – from people talking of him as if he were a saint to people trying to come up with anything nice to say about him. Our friend Josh gave me one of the most fitting appraisals I have ever heard of Ken. Josh explained he …

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The Master of Diplomacy

People frequently asked Ken for advice. With all his experience he could quickly asses the situation, and easily see a solution. The real problem for Ken was stating the solution in a way it could be heard – either the solution was complex or the solution was painful for the questioner. The best example was when a young farmer asked Ken why his pigs were not doing well. Ken said, ” Well, pigs like to …

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Truth over Flattery

After watching a couple episodes of Pride and Prejudice on Public television, I decided to request more Colin Firth videos through inter library loan. Tonight as I watched Bridget Jones’ Diary, I realized Ken was my Darcy – awkward socially, beyond reproach in integrity, and kind in deed. And I remembered a Ken story. After contra dancing one night we met for dinner. I guess it was our first date. At one point Ken seemed …

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The Plant I Can Grow!

When I met Ken I had LOTS of house plants.  And some came with me to Turtle Lake.  Ken took over the houseplant tasks.  And he had great success with all the plants I brought EXCEPT the peace lily or spathiphyllum I brought.  It likes filtered light and Ken was of a more light the better philosophy.  That spath fried and died.         When Ken died, his aunts and an uncle on …

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Easter People

Years ago Ken and I joined one of his sisters for an Easter mass in the  before Easter dinner with his family.  During the mass the priest spoke of how important Easter is for Christians and told us to go forth as joyful Easter people.         This year I am thinking of Ken.  He was an altar boy, went to Catholic schools, but no longer attended church regularly.  Although not religious, Ken …

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A Gift from Ken

 I was a member of the zen center in the Twin Cities when I met Ken.  I knew of no zen centers near Turtle Lake, but I came with my Buddha,  incense, and gong; I put them on an old trunk my parents had given me when I went to college.  Ken decided he could do better than a trunk.     He took a slab and cut three holes.  He inserted and pegged the …

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Potting Soil

Few people knew which tasks Ken did and which I did.  We formed a good team, and I guess to many people the pieces were seamless.  Ken did the planting.  He made the potting soil in fall, brought in enough to fill four or five fifty gallon plastic barrels, made the soil blocks, planted, watered and transplanted. In Ken’s absence I found empty barrels – he hadn’t felt good enough to make the potting soil.  …

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One of the Surprise Christmas Presents

Today as I make bread I remember… Ken could surprise me easily.  I am often trusting and naive.  One year Ken asked me to help him move some lumber from one of the many lumber piles.  He told me he was pulling some maple for a project.  It never occurred to me the project was for me.     That year in the late fall Ken kept teasing me I had helped him move my …

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Ken the Baby Whisperer

Yesterday I got to spend some time with a gorgeous, happy baby.  I thought of Ken.  Ken, as the second of seven children, had lots of baby experience.  I, as the second of two with two younger cousins across the country, did not.  People would start to hand me babies – after all I am a woman.        And I would quickly say, “Hand that baby to Ken. I come in once they …

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March When Ken Made Me a Birthday Souffle

Ken was an excellent cook; his last job was as a private chef to one of the Pillsbury family.  When we first dated, Ken would get me a card and try to buy something or take me out for my birthday.            In March egg season is in full swing, and one year I asked him to make me a souffle.  He did and it became our habit.  Each year he …

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