Ken’s story – The Final Chapter
Since many people did not know Ken was sick, and want to know what happened, here is the story. About a year ago Ken went to the clinic because he had a lump on the back of his neck. They told him if it persisted or worsened he should come back. In July he went back and a scan indicated lymphoma with tendrils reaching to his spinal cord. Ken decided against a biopsy, and the probable suggestion of chemo or radiation. He assembled a team of alternative practitioners. He told me he did not want to tell people about this as he did not “want people treating me like I’m dead before I am dead.”
Ken’s condition would seem to improve and then worsen. In October he began to weaken and lose weight. After Thanksgiving the naturopath suggested that he head south and sit in the sun, relax and heal. I supported this as he had been frustrated to be here and seeing and thinking of what he could not do. So he went to visit friends in New Mexico. I will be ever grateful to Cheryl and Ron for giving this time of rest.
Each day Ken told me on the phone that he felt weaker. He was juicing and making broth
When I went to pick Ken up at the airport, I placed a mattress in the back of the van and our friend Tom insisted he come to the airport with me. Tom went in and wheeled Ken out to the van. We got him in and he said the flight was too long and he just wanted to get home. Tom drove and I was in the back with Ken. We got him home and into a bed on the main floor. Even though he spent the night in pain he thanked me for putting up the Christmas tree.
In the morning around seven he told me he wanted a bath, so I drew the bath and as I headed to get Ken, there he was. I shall never know how he got down that flight of stairs. He got into the tub and told me he wanted lavender oil. I did so and when I returned in fifteen minutes and he was relaxed. I woke Tom and we got him out of the tub, dry and into his robe. With one on each side of Ken we headed for the stairs. Ken started to go, and I raced to get blankets and pillow. We laid him on blankets on a mat in the studio and I knelt by his side, told him I loved him. His jaw moved and he was gone. He lived and died as he wished.
Judith, you are an amazing person. Thank you for sharing this story, as painful as I know it was to relive in the telling. I’m so glad you were able to help Ken have a good ending to the life he so enjoyed. I’m so glad to have gotten to know you both!!
Cris, I had no idea the cumulative number of people who were in our lives after Ken’s 41 years and my 26 years here. Since Ken did not want to talk about his illness after a debate with a well – intentioned person who thought Ken should go mainstream medicine, (he just avoided talking about his illness) he left without saying good – bye. I am left to say good bye and it comforts me that so many people can understand and support Ken’s choices
You both have affected and influenced many lives, probably more than you realize. Each time I think of the two of you and your beautiful living space and your lifestyle choices, it brings me to what is valuable and makes me feel there is sanity in our world. Ken’s choices in illness and death and your support of him, as well as the support given by friends, is an extension of how he lived. Thank you for sharing this journey, Judith.
Ken was such a gentle spirit! Kurt and I met him in either 79 or 80 at Stans bar, we each had a beer and he told us how he was digging his well by hand. We were really in awe of how he could do this. Kurt remembers him driving an old yellow truck. RIP Ken. Our thoughts and prayers are with you Judith✌️
I am so sorry to hear this. Condolences Judith. Ken was a lovely man.
Judith: I am so very sorry to hear about Ken’s passing. We always enjoyed “The Potter’s” visits at the brewery and we will always remember trading growlers of beer for some of your wonderful veggies. Even though you had to drive through a heavy downpour and walk through puddles up to your knees to get to the brewery. We will miss Ken and watching you two dance.