Small Maintenance Tasks Now Fall to Me

A fan stopped working. It was frozen; it needed cleaning and oiling. It’s something Ken used to do each spring and I forgot about it. Until the fan didn’t work. So, I took off the plastic screens and cleaned them Then it was take off the fan blade and clean it. Put down newspaper, clean the frame and wipe dust off the motor Get some oil in that joint And on the other side Replace …

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You Gotta Have Heart…

Today I finished sorting through old VHS and cassette tapes. It took emotional strength to handle and make decisions about things Ken and I watched and listened to together. Music tends to create a backdrop to my life – songs I listened to in high school, college, while dating Ken, while dancing with Ken. While doing this task I kept humming that song from Damn Yankees – You’ve Gotta Have Heart. “You’ve gotta have heartAll …

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June is Busting

I love flowers. My friends said they knew my relationship with Ken was serious because I moved perennial flowers to Turtle Lake. One of the first to open was this short Siberian iris that opened a couple days ago Today this yellow iris opened Although fewer in number than some years, the wild daisies are starting to bloom This fragrant tree is about to bloom. A friend told me it is a hawthorn. And it …

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Has It Really Been Two Years?

This third Sunday in May two years ago I led Ken’s memorial service. It was a beautiful day, and many people came As I recall the day I remember the feelings – first, there is the gratitude at all the people who helped me I felt amazed at how many people came to share the service from so many parts of our lives People of all ages, families, people with walkers and wheelchairs. They all …

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Maple Season 2020

This season is one of transition. Loyal came and tapped trees here, hauled sap and boiled sap on Ken’s evaporator. I helped him finish and bottle the maple syrup Loyal found some filters that work better than any Ken and I had used. But after he had cleaned and hung them to dry, I had a feeling the KKK had done laundry in my kitchen. Contact Loyal if you want to buy syrup

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My Bill Holm Story

Last night I watched a show on Bill Holm, a Minnesota poet. I cried at the thought of his being dead, and cried at missing my deceased husband Ken as well. Ken and I loved Bill Holm and his work: poetry, essays, piano playing. We first saw him in nearby Amery, Wisconsin. After his performance I approached him and asked to buy the book that contained a poem he had read called Advice. I intended …

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Such Kindness

News of Ken’s death continues to filter out into the cosmos. Yesterday I received a letter from a woman who had taken a class from Ken. While reading her note tears streamed down my face. “He was not terribly personable, but I saw that he cared a lot that we were learning. The thing that stood out then, and that stuck in my mind, and that brought me to write this letter, is the way …

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Wow! I can Read Music – sort of.

I started taking music lessons about six months ago. I had never learned any music before that. I did not read music. But after practicing at least once, often twice a day (except the two days I was flying to and from visiting my parents), I had been making slow and steady progress through the book of exercises Recently I thumbed back to a couple carols in my exercises book. Then I remembered some music …

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Has It Really Been Two Years?

Today is a difficult day. Ken died December 19, 2017 around 7:30 a.m. – two years ago today. He had just returned home the night before he died. It had been a difficult night for him. After a bath with lavender oil, he never made his way back to bed. He died in his studio. At home. As deaths go it was a good one and as he wanted – at home with me and …

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As our Wedding Anniversary Approaches

Thursday is my wedding anniversary. I feel a mix of emotions: sadness and gratitude. It I am honest, I just wanted more

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